Do you set new year’s resolutions? Are you good at keeping them? I never have been, but it’s because I have never asked God about them. I decide what I need to work on and then try to move forward. It never lasts very long or works out very well. So this year, I’m spending this week praying about what God would have me focus on right now. Focus drives us, what direction are you going? Maybe God will give me a focus for the whole year, maybe He has a different time-line. I’m finally ready for either answer. For years, I was an excellent planner and lived by my calendar. That worked well most of the time, but not when God messed up my plans. I would get mad and reject His ideas at first. I know this is backward from what I should have been doing, but at the time I couldn’t see it. God showed me that if I make plans with Him they work out much better, but I also need to learn to be flexible. I’m still working on that…it’s much better than it used to be! Here are some good ways to focus on what matters and get things rolling:
- God First
Is God your number 1? I mean really? Do you absolutely put Him first? Are you praying and reading your Bible multiple times a day? Is He the first one you go to with good news or problems? If you can’t answer yes to all of these, then it’s time to start here. I have to re-adjust my mindset constantly to put God back on top as my priority. When I do, everything else falls into place. It doesn’t mean everything is easy, God never promised us that. But He does promise to be with us every step of the way. He promises peace and joy as we abide in Him each day. Let’s start our year on the right foot! If you don’t know where to start, there are some amazing plans on the Bible App or the First 5 App. Both are free and usually take 5-10 minutes to complete. We also have recommendations for trusted authors on our resources page.
- TLC
Tender Love and Care for ourselves must be the next thing on your list. There is a healthy balance to this, we can easily swing from one side of the pendulum to the other; being selfish or being too selfless. In our culture today, we’ve isolated ourselves and wonder why we have no friends or real connections with anyone. Then, if we do have family and friends around us, it’s hard to make them a priority because we are so busy! Both of these are not healthy in many ways!!! We need to make sure we are taking care of ourselves so that we can take care of others. If you pour out a pitcher of water and don’t refill it, but you keep trying to fill other people’s cups no one will get anything out of it. You will be so stressed and stretched thin that you really don’t have anything to offer and many times end up offending and driving people away. We must take time to fill up on God’s word, have prayer time, drink water, eat healthy as much as possible, and get physical & mental rest. I operate so much better if I make sure these things stay at the top of my list. If not, I tend to rush around trying to do all the things for all the people and I don’t get the most important things accomplished. Everyone gets tiny pieces of me and not the best of me. That’s not fair to them or to me.
- Relationships
If I’m truly taking care of myself, I can enjoy my time with others more and they can enjoy their time with me! My husband comes first after God, then my children, and then other family and friends. This is the Biblical order and makes a huge difference if it’s on the right track. They all can feel seen, noticed, and really loved when I prioritize our time correctly instead of feeling pushed to the side and stressed because I was so busy and stressed. Being intentional with our time especially when we are with others is extremely important! Let’s try to put down all the distractions and really be present with others. We also need to practice being vulnerable in safe spaces instead of putting up walls because of past hurts. If I’m not careful, I fall into this trap all the time. I become afraid of being rejected so I don’t show anyone who I truly am. Not that I’m fully fake, I show most of my personality when I’m with others. But my issues that I’m dealing with…I have a hard time telling others about them. I feel like I’m supposed to be the one others can lean on, they don’t want to know about my problems, right? That is a lie from the enemy and will begin to feel lonely real fast!
If we don’t truly connect with others and allow them to truly connect with us, we start to realize that we don’t have any real relationships. But, we were meant for real relationships and they are supposed to be life-giving!!! When I do open up and share all of myself, the good, bad, and the ugly, I am so blessed by the relationship that forms. My marriage flourishes, my relationship with the girls gets so much sweeter, and my friendships are amazing! Why? Because we can be real with each other, we feel safe sharing, and then we feel like we can point each other back to Jesus in love. This is so important! We need people to hold us accountable so we don’t get off track! If I’m left with all the swirling thoughts in my head, I can get depressed or feel like the world is against me. But when I allow others to speak truth into my life, I see that the world is broken, but it can still be beautiful because of the amazing relationships I have with those around me. We must fight for real, healthy, true connections with one another. It really will change our lives!
- Work
We each have gifts that help us love others and serve God in a unique way. Men are meant to be tough warriors in the world, but gentle defenders at home. Women are life-givers literally and emotionally, those around us depend on us every day. On top of that, we all have spiritual gifts that are specific to God’s purpose for our lives. When we are living true to our calling, we spread God’s love even more! In this world, many of us have to work outside the home. I believe God uses us in these places to spread His love to others that we might not come in contact with otherwise. Maybe we are the only form of Jesus they will ever see. How are we living out our lives in front of them?
That’s a lot of pressure to do our job well and still be a witness, but God promises that He will place us in the perfect position to make Him known if we let Him. He also promises to give us the strength and wisdom to do our job well if we ask Him. Unfortunately, work usually takes up most of our time. Even though it provides for our family, we still need to save energy and strength for time with our family. I know it’s hard, but it shouldn’t be our first priority. When we get this mixed up, then things start getting out of hand really quickly. Let’s make a habit to pray daily and ask God to help us keep the things that matter most at the top of our list. Then, let’s be intentional about taking care of our family first.
- Rest
I haven’t done this well for most of my life. As a child, I didn’t nap well after the age of two, I was told I didn’t want to miss anything. It’s still hard for me to take a nap, but I’ve learned that rest can come in different forms. The girls and I have started a quiet time each afternoon for about an hour. Everyone gets to pick a book, puzzle, drawing pad, etc. and find a corner to hang out in. Naps and baths work too. Whatever helps us unwind, relax, and have some quiet time to think, pray, and be still for a bit. It is so refreshing and we have all come to love it!!! I know not everyone has this luxury, some days we have to skip it too. But try to find some space in your day for quiet…even if it’s ten minutes. It is essential for long-term health that you find a way to slow down.
It’s also really important to get away as a family. It doesn’t have to be extravagant, but time to invest in each other without distractions and discover new things together is so beneficial! I also believe that if you’re married, you should take a trip away with your spouse each year for at least a few days. It makes a huge difference!!! Our world keeps pushing us to go faster and accomplish more. It’s not all bad, but if we don’t make time for rest we will crash. Let’s follow God’s example instead of the world. He showed us from the very beginning that rest is such a necessity! We actually accomplish more when we approach it from a state of being well rested.
Are you ready to start? Don’t get overwhelmed, start with one thing and let God lead you from there. Let’s not forget that the first and most important step is our relationship with God. I truly hope that you take this step and watch to see how God changes your life and the ones around you in amazing ways! Ask Him for a specific word for you and see what He says!!!
Love,
Christin